Fable Of A Toe
Me went down in me basement
To wash me dirty clothes
The dryer door needed a replacement
And wouldn't shut, as everybody knows
Me pushed a cinder block against the blimey thing
And yelled and cussed 'til it fell on me toes
Oh the pain me felt as me swore like a king
And limped up the stairs a cussin' all the way
Me toe bled and bled, me carpet was all red
It bled all night and into the next day
When me toe turn black it entered me head
Me needs to see a doctor now
And that's exactly what me did
Doc took one look and all he said was "wow
What a nasty thing" and "how'd ya do that kid?"
Me told him the complete, whole story
He bandaged me all up tight
It sure did look all gory
Me popped some pills and slept that night
'Tis been a year since me hurt me toe
It will never, ever be the same
One side is bent and the nail won't grow
But me is the one to blame
The moral to this story is simply this here thing
Don't swear at your dryer. That is just lame
Anger at your dryer will hurt to your toe bring.

Copyright © 2005 Lunaria (Lila May Guptill)