Unturkey Day
Thanksgiving is here again in two days
Get out the turkey. See how much it weighs
Cut the gizzard and liver in very small pieces
Mix them with bread and pour on the greases

This will be the stuffing to put inside
Wait, better put in some chive
We have to season it to perfection
It has to pass aunt Bea's inspection

Add some orange to the cranberries please
Mix it well and cook it with ease
I mean lower the heat so it won't burn
Please listen. Won't you ever learn?

Cut some carrots and celery sticks
Good, now hand me that cake mix
This will be the finest day ever
And this is my greatest endeavor

Okay put the turkey in the oven
Oh, did you remember to invite Mr. Boven?
Aunt Bea has her eye on him
She'll be acting so proper and prim

Put some butter in the butter dish
I hope it doesn't smell like fish
Better get some potatoes peeled
Six or seven is a pretty good yield

Set the table now. Make haste
We haven't any time to waste
The turkey's done and ready to slice
Yes, the table looks very nice

Warm the buns in the oven now
Turn on the oven. Do you know how?
The temp should be 250 degrees
Oh please, please get off your knees

Light the candles. Light one more
There they are. I'll get the door
I welcome you both to our table
Here Aunt Bea I'll take your sable

Come now and have a seat
We are almost ready to eat
Bow your heads. Let's say grace
We are thankful to have this place

Thank you for good food to eat
Thank you for this good fake meat
Thank you much for everything
I'll have a leg. I'll have a wing

We are vegetarians. It isn't our will
To eat the flesh that others kill
So we eat meat that is fake
For our animal brothers and sisters sake.

Copyright © 2004 Lunaria (Lila May Guptill)