Fall Again, Float Again

I wake up and I want to die My heart so numb that I can't cry The phone rings, I press ignore I refuse to rise to answer the door Buried underneath the dirt I can't seem to shovel away the hurt There are too many feelings to adequately sort Self-medication becomes my resort I fall again Low again Stuck again and I. can't. win. I wake up and my eyes adjust Today the sun I think I'll trust My lips curve up so naturally It's hard to believe it's really me A light shines from somewhere inside And forces the shadows to run and hide My sudden joy is too much to contain This time I hope it leaves a stain I float again Up again Weightless again Did I win?