Beans

Beans I woke up this morning hungry as a bear Opened the frig but there was nothing there All the shelves were empty 'cept for moldy bread I am hungry and I want to be fed Went to the cupboard to look for food Opened the doors and now I'm in a mood All that was there were beans in a jar Would go to the store but ma's got the car Gets me a pan that's hangin' on the wall Fills it with water, salt, pepper and all Puts in the beans and sits it on the burner Don't know how to cook but I'm a fast learner Behold it starts abubbling up out of the pan I run to turn down the heat as fast as I can Cookin' is over and I pour them in a bowl Starts to eat them with a moldy roll Time is a tickin. Got to catch the bus If I'm late for work there'll be a fuss Finds me a seat in between two dames They're really lookers or my name ain't James Bus is on schedule. We're bumpin' right along Then my beans start singing their song Rooty toot, toot toot. The last one that passed Came out one big, horrendous blast Ripped a hole in my pants. The bus went sky high I knew then and there that something was awry That night the news reported, Bomb blows bus apart And all because I ate some beans and let a great big phart. Copyright © 2005 Lunaria (Lila May Guptill)