The "New Girl" (Part I).

i'm lost in that portrait of despair; look through the smile we share. sometimes the pretend refuses to mend, but i keep it up lately because i know you won't get it. and i don't know how i could ever possibly have you understanding me. my actions, you've so quickly labelled sins, feel so right to me somehow. even though you keep telling me i'm wrong. you say, "this is not you." but it's the girl i always knew, i just can't keep holding her back. this "new girl"... i feel like i've finally let go and i'm being myself. i believe in destiny, but you refuse to see refuse to accept.. so inept to the real reality. this is fucking reality. i don't want to change it. i feel like i've gained so much, and i'd rather not keep feeling guilty over your icy touch. love. drugs. music. sex. fun; i'm going to vomit now. all down your pretty pink sweater. i'm going to vomit with a smile at your rejection. you know you should really learn to pay attention. love michelle.