Hidden Meanings.

through ignoring the pain, i'm becoming so vain and i'm trying to cover it up. you'll never have any idea what i'm talking about even though i write it all over myself. i hate not being perfect i hate when you get me like this, and suddenly nothing is worth it. sometimes it goes a little too far and i find myself second guessing exactly where we are. when i'm not with you i wonder.. is this what i thought? is this what i still want..? can i fix it? is it me? blurring the lines between all of the lies and truth. i'm trying hard to find i'm trying harder not to mind.. i'm trying hardest to keep myself above and alive. i think this is always going to feel just as weird. i keep thinking the same things, and i still can't see all those special things life is supposed to bring. i can't pay attention and it's not that i keep forgetting to mention.. i know that time and the timing mean everything and really do have a part in making it all right. if it doesn't change i can feel the fight coming. i will leave, but you're not going to find me running; even though i can't find the words to say.. and it's not that i don't love you it's that i'm scared to end up loving too much. i know this sounds so corny and cheap but the meaning, i swear, is anything but. my heart is in the right place despite the vacant expression on my face. there is so much you don't know happening inside and i'm trying to help the stress of it all subside; but the more i try to get it out the more it seems to hide. love michelle.