Trapped

The room is dark and there is nothing here not a sound, no movement at all everything is just so quiet i look out of the window, and all the action is outside i want to go, but i just can't i feel trapped in my own self confidence i sit down with my head in my hands why can't all this pain just fade away? then i can go outside and breathe the freedom and feel whole again but it just feels impossible there is no way i can escape out of this black hole the black hole of misery i scream, i shout but nobody hears it seems like i'm the only one here and everybody else carries on with their life what's wrong with them? i need to just get out of this room which is my mind, it feels like a room with no way out with darkness and nobody here to help i am going to be trapped in this room forever no way out, can't go out i feel stupid for just sitting here feeling sorry for myself why can't i just go outside like all the others? coz people will laugh at me, that's why i don't belong in their gangs and crews i'm just an outsider my mind needs to change it's thoughts and feelings but it just stays this empty black room full of anger, sadness, fear and unhappiness how am i ever going to change that i hate this room, i just want out! i can't sit here feeling sorry for myself it's just not fair nobody cares anyway so i might as well just sit here in my own self pity nobody understands the way i feel they just laugh and it gives them all the more reason to pick on me they put me in this black room, they did it! locked me here, away from everybody that's what they want, they don't want me here so they can all have fun outside, maybe it's my fault, i brought this on myself for not being popular and fitting in i just need to blot out the pain and then everybody and everything will go away and leave me in peace and then i will no longer be trapped in this black room... Copyright Rebecca Waring