this was written a long time ago.. and it's about a friend
not caring about what a guy she's obbsessed with hurting me
and using me, just because she was obbsessed with him. some
friend eh?

***

why do you constantly have to bring him up?
a daily reminder of my most recent fuck up.
you shove it in my face
even thought it's not on purpose.
you don't understand
this could end up hurting us.
the wounds are still fresh
like salt being rubbed.
just fucking shut up
i hate being bugged.

just let me forget
please i don't want to feel like this forever.
just because you can get over
what he's done to me so easily
doesn't mean i can.
go ahead and keep him as a friend
you just don't seem to grasp
the damage of past words said
all the blood bled
the feeling of rejection
the feeling of already being dead
before this.
a heart now made entirely of lead.

it's not that it was him.
i just can't believe it happened again.
i'm sorry
but this time
i'm sick of playing pretend.
i won't lie
it hurts alot.
in all these webs of brokeness
i've found myself caught.

just please.. let it lie.

love michelle.