slit these wrists
and watch them bleed
feel that heat
see the flow
the pallour now
coming on
can't you hear
faintly my sad song?

i guess you believed
what you said
and i was dead
empty
nothing left in my head

and now i stand here
bleeding on your carpet
those stains forever
my pain you'll feel

why the hell
could i not reach you?
why the hell
can you not feel me
what is blocking
our communication
slit these wrists
and watch my life
pour away


pour away, wasting now
everything for you
all i wanted
was to be perfect
and you didn't see that.

i thought, 
a mother's love
would beat through all
i thought that
you'd never let me fall.

paint my silouhette
on the wall
paint it red
so im still standing
even when i fall.

paint me by the couch 
so i can still
watch tv with you.
paint me where
i can still see 
the seeping red

make sure that
you'll never ever forget
why it is im dead.

i was screaming
i was frantically thrashing
calling out
crying, inside dying
and all you could do 
for me was tell me
to shut up
and forget it
i wasn't good enough
no matter what...


well guess what mum?
you only get one chance...
you only get one first born daughter
you only get one...

and you let me fade away
and i dont know why
but now i fall
and here on our livingroom floor
i die...

xoox
Ellie J