the funniest thing turned up today
a letter written in a time far far away
when it was when we were young
careless, free, in love and yet not so dumb
no words were spoken
and she never even said
half of what it appears she thought in her head.
so i found the evidence
and i plan to pass it along
i wonder though why she stopped singing her sweet song.
i know it could never have been
and i guess his actions never foreseen
tears shed, she bled
he forgot her and
pushed her from his head.
i still stand in awe
staring, wondering...
she glares at him, degrading
hating.
but i guess she's in a better place now
a place where no feeling emits
except lust and love for someone
who does not exist.
that's okay, we all have our own
ideas of utopia and bliss...
our friendship is one thing i really miss
but now it's gone.
faded and ashed
just like a drug flashback,
an experience passed,
not wished to be repeated.
so smile not for the good times
and don't bother to cry for the bad
i don't care anymore
that she was the best friend i ever had.
did she even exist?
or was it another act, a lie
a life never existing
just a mask she wore when i dropped by?
or did i really cuase all this
with my dreams of gothic demear
introduction to boys and drugs and life
so glamourous that is nothing
to be proud of.
maybe i influenced her and changed her life
for the worst
but i never forced her
i never asked her
i hated it, i wanted it to stop.
i wonder how real anyone is
i wonder why it is i even care
i guess in this world we get fucked over
by everyone
friends... such an empty word
especcially when you're given more
than you deserve.
nothing like being a fraud
not caring like someone
thinks that you do.
nothing like lying and hiding and
peeking out from behind a mask
an inch thick of makeup
couldn't hide me though.
i dont know what it is, but i feel trusting
and i let everything show.
everyone knows who i want
everyone knows who i hate
people know what it is about me
that nobody likes
im a bitch and im mean
if you cross me watch your back
im sadistic and sorrowfilled
im so mean, and yet i love it.
watching lives crumble at your hands
crying and saying your sorry
bringing it back together
only to do it again.
im so fake
nobody could ever guess though
what i fake best.
happiness is just an act for me
i dont understand the concept
so i try and mimick what i think
it should be.
and yet, none of this is me.
depends on how you look into my life.
...this is really off track....
xo
Kyelle.
James--- I have a letter never mailed, a message for you
from like, i dont even know... september? Right after your
friend died... i dont know if i should really give it to
you, but i think maybe i should. it might help you
understand ... even if you no longer care.
it's sweet in a way, it made me cry to read it. i dont
know, words so true... i never really knew exactly how bad
she had it for you. i mean, just. wow. i can explain in
more detial elsewhere... email me or something :)
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