looking down
the backs of my hands are
yellow brown.
it looks like
i was punching bricks
and then the flipside
is blue and purple
like the lips
of a person who had died.

and this colour makes me wonder
what the hall have i done?
but yet
this is not from me
a battle not yet won..
these bruises are from IV
nurses who cannot find veins...

the shock of blue
still scares me
it reminds me of a time
less bright
it makes me remember
alone, bathroom floors, and stormy nights


funny how life source
and death
can give the same result.
it's a colour
of bruise i get nowhere else...


xox
Ellie J