Dellusional.

i'm sick of everyone else always getting what i wished for. feeling myself hit the floor hearing the sound of you shutting the door. never knowing what's in store for me. knowing i can't see what lies ahead i might as well waste away all day in bed. the tears they sting like needles being dragged down my skin. i don't know how i'm expected to win. how could i? not this. not after that mind-blowing kiss. your cancerous touch is breathtaking and just too much. too much for me to handle right now. i'm not ready to start to drown in someone else. it's too soon for me to allow myself to melt. even though inside i already am.. i'm just not ready to show it. although you can probably see in the way i stare. i wonder if you think its just as unfair as i do. my ears ache. i feel i've made a terrible mistake. missed so many chances i regret not being able to take. telling myself i couldn't something inside said i shouldn't. it's not what i wanted it's what i felt i needed. you make me weak in the knees i wish it would stop i beg you; please.. to just understand be everything i want to think you can. you're the best of my dreams and this situation i'm in dangles you in front of me you act like a tease. but this is only something that can be healed with time not with someone else. because that can't take it away; or make it fine. you're heart will see if you let it look that right now i'm not for you althought sometimes you've got me overwhelmingly; entirely shook. but it's time now to let me go.. and close my book. love michelle.