i need you to know
that its just too hard
for me
to be close to you
or anyone.
too many times has it
gone so wrong.
too many times 
has it been dragged out so long.
i can't be anything
with anyone
and its not that i dont want to
its just that
after all ive gone through
i just can't.
all the lies that have been told
its hard to tell whos the one
that breaks the mold.
so many times have i been used
all i am in the end is a
stupid girl, abused.
and there are times
when i wish i could tell you how i feel
but i know whatever you told me back
it wouldnt feel real.
everything feels fake.
you can't fix me
i always break.
im sorry
for acting weird
im sorry
for all of my fears
i cant break these walls down
and i cant let you.
im sorry
no matter what
i'll always feel like im being used.
i wish you could see
the real me.
the girl everyone forgot.
even me.
shes just something that i can
no longer be.
but i just wanted you to know
that its all my fault
but i cant help that
i trusted too much before
and that i have been crushed
so far into the floor.
i can't be saved.
im too far gone
just leave me here
i'll remember
what you might have done.

michelle.