Do You Think I'm Crazy?

I wait for you to come home. I try my hardest not to cry... When someone mentions your name Or asked how you died. Still not able to face the loss. Am I really this weak? Not facing up to my fears And being satisfied with defeat. To me there is no other way. This is me..this is my life. I cant bear the suffering The constant pain and strife. I'll live in the soft white room Waiting for each day to pass, Engraving them into the padding Wondering how much longer I'll last. Arms bound tight to my sides So maybe I wont hurt, I hurt my self from within Just to keep myself alert. To keep my self wondring in too far To this dream where you'll come back, I'll be out of this white padded room And we'll forget my attack. No..I'm not crazy Thats just what they say Even though they say I put you in heaven I know you'll come back someday. So I sit there in this room I've wished on stars, I've tried They I'm in some trance But I'm just remembering how you died. Hear them mutter the words killer Oh yes, I hear all they say, Im still here, in my mind Reliving that fateful day. It must of hurt when I stabbed you I still dont know why, But your still alive I know you didnt die. And some of the details are blurred now Memories get a little hazy, But I know you will return Do you think I'm crazy?