i remember
how you used to 
make me smile.
it used to be
that becuase of you
waking up
was worthwile
and i guess things
tend to pass
i never thought
that it could be
that someday
i wouldn't feel
that way.
i still think
of you a lot.
and i still smile
with every memory
of you i have
but something's changed
and i guess 
i've let go
of the dull pangs
of pain my heart
used to feel
when you were around
and the fustration
and agony 
of how it was.
maybe i've accepted
what we have
for what it is,
and how i really
wouldn't change it for the world
but half the time
i dont feel like
this, and i question
still
what is meant by it.
confused and broken
my heart forever,
just a token.

xoxo
Ellie J