Im torn between my heart and my mind. My mind tells me one
thing and my heart tells me another and when that happens
the memories flow through me like a raging river. I feel 
so
lonely almost like the saying about the tree in the forest
falling "does anyone hear it if there is no one around?"
Good people, friends, I talk but do they really hear me?
and
do i really hear myself? im sick of being sick with
emotion.
im tired physically emotionally and mentally. and what is
there to mend? two and a half years? memories are they just
that..memories? and what does the future hold? more
alienation? God i dont want that! God I am calling on you
give me insight to my life my situation bewstow strengh and
insight upon me and teach me not to hurt and teach me to
love without hurt. i hurt to love.