-- More writing from reflection period - not wax method. --

Diesease.. Living.. Inside.. 
Always living.. 
Eating, prying, destroying. 
Always.. 
Hope, devoured. 
Happiness, devoured. 
Life, devoured. 
Left? Empty.. Shell.. 
Breathing, heart beating.. 
But.. 
No life.. 
No voice.. 
No twinkle to eye.. 
No glimmer of life in song.. 
Sadness.. Despair.. 
Not self-pity. 
Only unfortunate circumstances. 
Unable to grasp what makes, or could make, life happy. 
I reach.. And when pull back I do... 
Empty paw is all thats found.. 
Why? 
I try.. So hard.. 
Exhausting it is becoming.. 
For me to continue.. 
To beat the bushes.. 
Tread through thorns.. 
Wade through mud.. 
When does relief pull me from this jungle? 
When do I get to learn what rescue is? 
Do I? 
Ever? 
Please, now would be good.