there is a hole
deep within me
and it's growing bigger
swallowing my soul.

the pain im sure
to cause you
hurts me internally
i feel so sad
so wrong

and yet..
i knew it all along.
did you see it too?

i bet you did.
and im sorry
becuase
for everything there is
i really do
love you...

but, im confused
and i want it to stop
if not for a little while
we'll have some fun
alone...
and come back?

if i asked you 
to love me, could you?
would you still
after all this
i have put you
through?

whats the problem
with me?
why do i feel
this way?
and it isnt
even like
he likes me at all
and it's a chance
im willing to take
but the costs...

if i asked for you
to sit and stay
and watch me cry
would you hold me
and never question
why?

i dont want to hurt 
you..
but i feel
caged, through and through
and i just have to know
i have to let you go

if only for, a little while
can i still look upon your face
and will you still smile?
and will you remember
every little thing?
please tell me
that fi this ends
it was all worthwhile.

and i cry
at the tought of what
i feel i have to do
becuase i love you.
i love you...
but it hurts so much
and im so lost.

im going to stray away
i need to find
out for my own.
and you should do the same
but please
please say
that when im gone
you'll call me back?

xoxo
Ellie J