and i watched as it all fell apart...., by look how pretty she is when she falls down...
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Watching everything fall apart in front of me
This is never how I’d imagine it to be
Living in this endless mess gives no relief
So I’ll just sit in the rain and let it take me
Countless drops of sorrow come soak my frail self
Meeting only cold blood and a listless mind
I just dwell in it, trying to forget myself
Until I realize I’m not the only one feeling it this time
I reach out to an unresponsive void
That I can’t know or feel, much as I desire
And knowing near everything was part of a ploy
To make me sympathize only feeds the fire
I stop thinking and simply taste the rain
So bittersweet, saccharine with sympathy
Yet at the same time, salty with pain
And I wake to crying in my restless sleep
::not sure if i like the title...::
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Posted: 2005-10-04 21:01:42 UTC |
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2005-10-07 22:00:50 | hidden |
I'm not sure about this poem. I like the content and the implications, but reading it...well I'm not sure, it didn't read well to me. It seemed to change pace all to often. I liked the poem itself but reading it was a bit of a pain. it might just be me though |
2005-10-18 17:40:36 | ~*PuRely*DeVine*~ |
wow..i loved it...dont change the title..it fits well in my opinion :) |
2005-10-18 19:16:33 | Don't build lies on ice cubes. |
I really like this poem, theres something almost wistful about it... and I think it does read well, maybe thats just my interpretation though. |
2005-12-02 21:14:25 | Amy Mc |
Beautiful as a good bike trail! |
2006-01-18 11:24:53 | Thoughtless Encounters |
i like this poem too.. it is unique, and i a couple of parts it kinda drifts and i didn't really get it.. but overall i think ur a good writer... and i like the title. i also like ur user name =) |
2006-02-05 19:47:30 | Crimson.Wings |
i enjoyed reading this poem. youo did a good job writing it. |
2006-02-05 19:47:42 | Crimson.Wings |
i enjoyed reading this poem. you did a good job writing it. |
2009-10-30 01:29:59 | Moon |
As mystic as a wind's sound. As blissfull as water's feel. |