and i watched as it all fell apart....

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By look how pretty she is when she falls down... •

Watching everything fall apart in front of me This is never how I’d imagine it to be Living in this endless mess gives no relief So I’ll just sit in the rain and let it take me Countless drops of sorrow come soak my frail self Meeting only cold blood and a listless mind I just dwell in it, trying to forget myself Until I realize I’m not the only one feeling it this time I reach out to an unresponsive void That I can’t know or feel, much as I desire And knowing near everything was part of a ploy To make me sympathize only feeds the fire I stop thinking and simply taste the rain So bittersweet, saccharine with sympathy Yet at the same time, salty with pain And I wake to crying in my restless sleep ::not sure if i like the title...::

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October 5, 2005 19:09Debz ~~ lost amoungst the pages of a story yet to be told ~~

maybe restless would suit it it really is superbly written and has such vivid imagery i really liked reading this poem

October 7, 2005 22:00hidden

I'm not sure about this poem. I like the content and the implications, but reading it...well I'm not sure, it didn't read well to me. It seemed to change pace all to often. I liked the poem itself but reading it was a bit of a pain. it might just be me though

October 7, 2005 23:12look how pretty she is when she falls down...

debz: thanks i'll use that! and thanks for the comment

October 7, 2005 23:13look how pretty she is when she falls down...

hidden: yea this was my first poem.. like ever and yea its not just you, not a whole lot of people get my poetry.

October 18, 2005 17:40~*PuRely*DeVine*~

wow..i loved it...dont change the title..it fits well in my opinion :)

October 18, 2005 19:16Don't build lies on ice cubes.

I really like this poem, theres something almost wistful about it... and I think it does read well, maybe thats just my interpretation though.

December 2, 2005 21:14Amy Mc

Beautiful as a good bike trail!

January 18, 2006 11:24Thoughtless Encounters

i like this poem too.. it is unique, and i a couple of parts it kinda drifts and i didn't really get it.. but overall i think ur a good writer... and i like the title. i also like ur user name =)

February 5, 2006 19:47Crimson.Wings

i enjoyed reading this poem. youo did a good job writing it.

February 5, 2006 19:47Crimson.Wings

i enjoyed reading this poem. you did a good job writing it.

February 18, 2006 00:48ChuKico PrIme

it's a great peom!

October 30, 2009 01:29Moon

As mystic as a wind's sound. As blissfull as water's feel.