i feel lonely, cold, in an uncontrollable mess
everything seems like such a huge task
i feel like there is a big weight on my shoulders
dragging me down
further and further
how much can it push me?
how much can it break me?
it makes me feel so stupid
that i have no confidence in myself
seems like everybody is having a life, except me
it's like being in a black hole
screaming for help, screaming to be let out
but nobody hears
i feel like i'm drowning, in sorrow and despair
life is just so cruel
i don't even want to go out today
if i'm alone outside, it's worse
chest tightens
can't breathe
shaking, sweating
i keep thinking, why is this happening to me?
am i being punished for something?
no matter how i try and do good
it feels like i am doing it for no reason
sometimes i get so angry
i hate myself for being the way i am
every day just feels like another uphill struggle
i do want to get out there, see the world, get involved
but i just can't
it's like being sprinkled with petals from a rose
but it gets snatched away from you
and you can only smell the lingering scent
i cry, i put my head in my hands
it feels like when something is going right
it gets dragged away from me
like i don't deserve to be happy
i don't deserve to be fortunate
trying to fight this low self worth
is like getting blood out of a stone
it will not work
i might as well keep feeling like this
take each day as it comes
maybe one day i will get out of it
the weight is pushing me further and further
i will not let it break me though
my emotions are getting the better of me
and i'm spiralling, plummeting, falling
into a sinking depression
one day, i know i will be ok, and i will beat this
it's just a matter of when....



Copyright Rebecca Waring