unsettlement

sometimes i wonder.. am i who i see? am i what, you want me to be? and then i look away, and sigh. trying to please fifty people, plus me... gets complicated, confusing... and insane. and the whole time, im telling myself i am who i am faking. keep on going, look at all the friends we're making. can i be.. fitting into more than one place? like a skeletonal key, do i have no real face? it's unsettling to think about how i lose myself each month week and day.. to a *new* upgraded improvement. but in the end this is me who i am s'posed to be. can't you tell.. i have hidden it so well. now the layers of paint and polish wear off, underneath im just a social misfit. is it just now losing it's shine.. am i now not covering up who I am? good bye gloss and glam... cuz now, this is who i have become, this is what i really am. xoxo kyelle