With your demons lingering around
My head they dance and sing my name
This history my history oh I won’t let it be the same
My fortunes faded in the night
To find myself sitting with a sprite
Under the stars, I’m under the stars alone

*Take me make me do something absolutely crazy
Give me wings and cut off my feet, make me fly
I’ve got no choice, this little voice behind all those
screaming words
It says free me love me take me to some undiscovered world 

I’m sorry for all the pain I caused in all the little
lives I’ve lost
And sorry for the messes I’ve been in now
I’m sorry I wasn’t the daughter you wanted or the child
with a smile
That loved god and boys
I’m a 180 of your veracious dreams and I don’t know how

**So all I can say is…
This life was made for me today and yesterday
I’ve yelled a lot, but I’ve laughed plenty
Don’t count my tears, I know they’re too many
Don’t lift my burdens, they’re too heavy
I’m sorry for what I fucked along the way
I’m sorry there couldn’t have been more better days
Maybe one day I can make it up 
If I get that day to make it up
I wouldn’t know how to make it up
Not even for myself

An incubus for every memory
They’ve got my number and my throat
Harass me when they know I’m weakest, fuck if they let me
go
In all my childhood dreams I was in a different place
I had a different name and a different face
Child happy, I was happy dreaming I didn’t have a home

 *

thank you for all the pain you caused and all the little
times we lost
and thank you for the messes you put me in now
thank you for being that kind of mother and father, that
family, friend, and my little brother
I could have been a 180 of my veracious self and I don’t
know how

**

not even for myself…
I don’t regret, I just have pain
I wish every day it could just rain
And wash away the uncountable tears
And drown away all these stupid fears
Cool these burning wounds when they’re too hot
Make me grow or I’ll just rot 
I can’t just sit here
I won’t just sit here…

I want to feel happiness at it’s finest
I want to reach my being at it’s highest
I want to feel a touch and not deny it
I want to say those words instead of hide it
I want to feel the wind beneath my wings
And all those happy little cliché things
I can’t just sit here
I won’t just sit here

So all I can say is…
This life was made for me today and tomorrow
I’ve climbed in glee and fell in sorrow
Don’t count my tears, I know they’re too many
Don’t lift my burdens, they’re too heavy
Thank you for trying, but I’ll keep steady
I’ll make it up the days I’m ready
Every single day seems a little meeker
Which gives me the drive to run in sneakers
Who needs wings, I’ve got two legs
They’ll get me to places I’ve never been
And one day when I’m not human
I’ll be ready to fly out of a place I’ve been doomed in

I can’t just sit here…


2004