The Story of Zebra and Monkey

Zebra: I don’t like mud and it’s on my hooves, it’s on my hooves and coat. No one can tell I’m a zebra! I look like a dirty ass. Oh dirty ass I am for getting mud on my lovely coat. Hey monkey in that tree with that bucket of clean water and soap. Could you help me? Could you clean me? Clean my muddy coat? Monkey: Are you crazy, dirty ass? This is mine! My bucket of water, dirty ass! It’s clean and sweet and just for me. Why don’t you get your own bucket of water? Zebra: I don’t have a bucket. Monkey: Then you can’t have a bucket of water, dirty ass. Zebra: I’m not a dirty ass. Monkey: you sure look like a dirty ass, so you must be a dirty ass. And no dirty ass will come near my bucket of clean and crisp water, all sweet and fresh for me. Suddenly a cloud of mosquitoes came flying through the sky. They flew round and round and up and down until they passed them by. Monkey: Oh my goodness! All the pain and itch they left behind! I had to have been bitten at least a hundred times! Oh I itch, I can’t stand the tickle, I scratch and now I bleed. For every single mosquito just flew right after me. And because of them I dropped my bucket and there, it cleaned you up real fast! In fact, you are a zebra and not a dirty ass! Zebra: Hah, you silly monkey! Not a bite, not a one. The mud kept them away, watching them bite you was quite fun. See what happens when you’re mean and you call others horrid names? Oh you wouldn’t give me that bucket, but I got it anyway! So thank you, Mr. Monkey, for saving me two times. I didn’t get bit by mosquitoes and I got to wash my hind! 2004