His Funeral

There I am sitting in this imagined scene Dressed in the black suit, crisply cut Figure hugging so I look my best for you My hair is in place My make-up's precise The exterior shows the person I wish I were For my heart lies beneath me Shattered shards leaving a trail when I walk And there's no blood inside me It was drained the same day my heart shattered Instead there's saltwater flowing my veins Flooding my interior so that it drives me insane There's too much salt, I'm going mad My heart was in half the day I met you You fused with mine. We became whole. And now I'm lost without you. The music starts. I know the score. We planned this day together. You're teasing me through hidden jokes. And in spite of myself, I smile. You always made me do that. This will be the last day for you. The only day when I can know your speaking to me again. I can't believe you chose this song. Its unorthodox. And yet... it defines you. The you that you are to me. That you were. I hear the footsteps Knowing I shouldn't, I turn to look. You're there... so near I could hold you. And yet you're so far you wouldn't feel me And I cry. Because that is so true of us. To be so near and yet so far. In every way of applying the truth, it still remains. And now... now you just had to take it one step further Be farther than ever before. There's a service I don't remember the words I wasn't listening, I tried but I was deafened by my thoughts My silent pleas to you Begging that you 'stop pretending now' Wishing for you to run in and say it's not true Oh why won't you tell me it's not true? If ever I needed a lie it's now. Someone I don't know is speaking about you Saying nice things, things you'd love to hear All around me are people I don't know It frustrates me I know they love you, knew you In ways unlike me. But I can't understand how any feel what I feel How any think that their soul has gone away That it can no longer return That the person they needed for always Has left them alone. And how can any of them sitting there think I'll never love again. None will mean it with the truth I do. None will wake every day with that very same thought. They'll turn to each other But I... I would have turned to you. Suddenly I feel you, in the air Reaching to all these people, touching them all And your searching for me... Checking I'm here... You can see this girl who loved you The one who doesn't know who she is without you The one who can't understand why you left her alone... Why she didn't go aswell. You see me sitting there slowly dying too. And you reach me, whisper words in my mind Flood love back into my veins Pick my heart up with yours and fuse it once more Replacing it to where it belongs And your love is washing through me, neutralising my sinful woes It's sedating a desperate mind I sighs in relief That you wouldn't leave That you decided to stay her with me for always And the music starts again Another song, with just as much sombriety as the first Laughing, I start to sing the lyrics Smiling for you inside and out I watch you pass with a final tear And feel with new faith that you will stay Standing, I follow you as the curtains close Watch you, ignorant of everyone around Then I closes my eyes and love you As I will do, for now and always Then I lay for you a single rose To bloom then slowly fade To disintergrate back into the earth Part of the cycle from which we were made It has a petal missing, a flaw nature intended And as a result it's perfect It reminds me of you