Actions

and if i could time out my reaction and plan a course of evasive action i never would have confronted you i never would have known the way you would have been. i try, and yet i feel it's not good enough rehearse and trials of error and misgivings forgotten embarassement and disillusions i wish that you had already heard. i dont know what you want of me i dont know where i stand or what my cues are to be i look awkwardly out to you for a sign a hint, anything i can use to stand up on my own two feet. and if i could've planned my reaction i'd have taken action and now forgotten pain would be. xoxo Ellie J