An Old "Friend"..

there's no place to go there's not many who know that it still goes on. not one that i can think of and i keep it to myself. i tried to push it away but it keeps falling off the shelf and in my lap. tempting is this box. i tried to keep it shut but it opens and spills memories and disgrace. ones i wish to be forever hidden and one day forgotten. ones i tried to erase. i wish they never were. but it's too late to wish now. there's no magic genie in this movie anyways. blood and tears it beckons me back here. i tried so hard but i find myself back in exactly the same place. my heart beating at exactly the same pace. the same motion and action the same feeling and comfort the same emptiness and i wonder why it still doesn't hurt. so numb and feeling strong. i couldn't have been more wrong. building up to the breakdown hearing the sickening sounds watching it spatter as it's hitting the ground. i didn't think i'd go back to you back to you, old friend. but i seems everytime you break into me i'm shown mercy and i mend. there's nothing like you nothing else really pulls me through; nothing. not like you do.