she said
"make it all worth while
for you only live once
keep up that smile
and never frown
for when you show  your pain
you bring other people down
mask the emotions 
others do not want to see
do what you need to
be who you need to be"

i believed every word
never thought to question 
if only if only
this had been a truthful lesson

for on her death bed
she reveresed all the things she had said
"it is true
you only live once
but if you mask this pain
you will drive yourself insane
find a friend
to cry on their shoulder
for if you don't the pain won't end.
do not hide the frown
because in your own tears
you will surely drown
but help yourself now
listen to these words
for i do vow
the happiest child in the world
will always need to cry
for you can not live
without wanting to die
a smile and a laugh
are all well in good
but once you will be sad
as all people should
so don't be crazy
and cover your pain
for it will haunt you in a never ending chain."

and thats when i realized
i led my life by a lie
she took her last breath
my false wisdom had died
and for the first time
in so many years
i broke down and cried
i let out all my tears
my soul and my mind
were empty of the pain
i had held for so long
my false wisdom had died
along with my false hope
and now i had crying
as my new way to cope
for it was no longer weak
and i was no longer drowning
in the tears that i finally let free
i knew that i could for once
just be me