sometimes people
wish to forget the past and all
things bad
but for me
i like to dwell on the sad.
if i ever forgot
what got me here today
i think then inside
i'd fade myself grey
and then what's left
but a colour of old,
and since i dread that
to pain 
i preciously hold.

who i am
is shaped by you
by the silly things
and stupid actions that you
did
and without you people
i wonder if i would
or could possibly be
this cool today?

cynical and jaded
sometimes i believe
i've already faded
but i know that deep inside
the yellow still glows.
and i dont need drugs
or boys and fast cars
to bring this colour about
becuase to me,
yellow is my soul.

i haven't sold her yet
my friends and myself
we sing and we shout
and this brings the
glow to my cheeks
and stops the fear in my heart.

im not saying im better
becuase i haven't forgot
im just saying that
forgetting things may not be
the best thought.

xoxo
Ellie J