Cutting #2

I dont know why i do it and i probably never will I felt no pain at the moment but now it is so real I dont know when it ends or if i really want it to Im not sure when it began all this seems impossible It all goes numb inside my body and I have no reasons in my mind I think about nothing around me as i cut myself one more time Can i alone fix everything? Do i just need some time I want to leave my body temporarily and come back in the right state of mind It isnt normal or sain It isnt the right thing to do I cant feel a bit of pain and i never want it to be through Its all a secret, please dont tell I am not ready for my end I dont want anyone to know how i fail As i do it again and again