If I close my eyes
and try 
to disappear
will the doubt
vanish
along with
this fear I feel?

Or am I doomed
to fail
at almost 
every
thing 
I do?

If I close my eyes
tight
will I become 
the silence
between Your words?

Will I feel connected
in some 
small way
to the
elaborate plans
You hold out to me
in Your hands?

If I shut my eyes
for a moment
and release
my
heart
from the vice
I repeatedly lock it in
will You teach me
to love
as You love?

Patiently?

Humbly?

Unconditionally?

Or am I alone
in this struggle?

If I scream 
at the top
of my lungs
will You answer?

Will You send
water from heaven
to drench
my dry
weary soul
before I drift away
with the wind?

Or am I already lost?


©2005