Hello (part two of bye)

(in progress) Hello again a word used too frequently ive found The word now cannot form in my mouth dumbfounded i fall On my knees i cry have mercy my father i pray without sound My lips move my eyes cease to function dead amazed in awe There he stands the man i beat, tortured, killed Upon a brow a crown sits firm a mighty crown of thorns Wait no the crown is gone what is that there upon his head? He reigns supreme but in my life? I see little connection Loneliness, pain, guilt, the scars multiply before me now A future i hope for yet my sins seem to have killed me For now i sit in quiet awe, who in heaven are you? Deserving hell i find life i wonder if acceptance is real Can i heal? Can people see me who i am and who i was Will people look beyond my scars and all the sin? Just when i think im forever alone that man embraces me A strange man a jewish man who is the 'criminal' we killed? Who can die be dead three days just to get up and walk again but god but him but why does he love just a wretch like me? Everyone else sees my flaws sees the scars on him and i People judge based on bias wanting to come out on top Number one i am not nor do i ever wish to be I just want to see his face again homesick i run to the hill There was a place he died with honor as a man as a king How could he love a wretch like me a perfectionist like him? I find no answers no true friend but in him i find at last God we are all alone send us a helper send us a friend Give me hope for another dawn give me grace to screw it up Pouring over your words i find tears of another man falling Heart it beats unrationally as im hit with this love We're always judged by all men but by one And when he does it always brings growth i pray more time Though it seems no human can help me send a friend How can this be? Is there one you just cant see? (in progress)