Our Fate in Death (co-edit), by lost the lonely dead
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A life unfolds fate pushing her will
The ever-growing shroud clouds all perfect judgement
Squinting to see vague light in the distance
Finding wardrobes turn black
These realities look for understanding
Words take on new meanings
down deep lost in the despair of
The grief that I can not fathom
Pausing for the last time
Collapsing in the snow covering my soul
Will anyone follow me here?
Leaving their crumbling darkness succumbing to the light
I kinda like the changes, thanks... |
| Posted: 2006-04-18 18:05:41 UTC |
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| 2006-04-16 05:56:11 | Loneliness is condescending |
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um lets see... A life unfolds Fate will take her way/ these things of ever clouding judgment break away to clearer days/Lost in Wonder. what was I thinking?/ My new reality becomes an understanding/ Words take new meanings/ Lost in a drowning despair of grief that I can not fathom/ pausing for the last time/ collapsing in the snow of my soul/ Will the others follow me here/ Leaving their crumbling darkness succumbing to the light |
| 2006-04-16 23:57:28 | lost the lonely dead |
| thanks for the input, its sooo much "better" now *thumb up* actually i do like your suggestions and it keeps to the point of the piece |