shining big black eyes, by mia
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shining big black eyes
smiling cheerful cheeks
speaking all funny things
my little baby...
won't you know how this play is
should not know how it is
i, witnessing all that unbearable realities,
can not wait for the possibilities!
take my hand
little girl!
we go outside
close the door
forget about
how was it before
and lead to an eternal life
we got never before... |
Posted: 2006-01-24 17:18:39 UTC |
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2006-01-04 00:47:19 | HangmanTheory |
good, but you need some revisions and you need to change the order of some words...stuff like that. but overall a good poem. |
2006-01-24 17:21:39 | mia |
i am turk. and that's my first try to write a poem in english.. and i did not think about it so much..i just wrote it as it came.. |
2006-01-25 13:25:10 | Kirsty (living in the light) |
Well, I think it is good, poetry is not how it is written but why and how you felt when you wrote it. |
2006-01-28 23:23:47 | ~~~~GLOSTARG~~~~ |
Hi Mia, I like your poem very much! if this is your first attempt to write the poem in english translation it was a good one!keep writing! Salam |
2006-02-13 17:31:18 | mia |
i'm glad:)) |
2006-02-18 02:08:19 | Crimson.Wings |
this is a nice poem. thanx 4 commenting on my poems! |
2006-02-22 02:18:12 | krystalblu |
I think it is beautiful |