Maybe she was (story thing)

The wind whistles and she shivers as she looks out at the sky She’s sitting there wondering why, she can’t forget about him She’s wondering to herself, and asking when it will end It’s weird because she can’t tell her boyfriend She doesn’t want to loose him and end up with nothing But she doesn’t want to stay and realise she could have something The water of the lake ripples as the wind gently wipes it Her reflection in the water shows her past, her past self Flashbacks come and go Happy days were she cried with laughter sad days, where she just cried Days where she wished she’d just said no Wished she had listened to the people that cared And now they had given up and walked away Leaving all the closer times they’d shared And leaving her alone again Maybe she was a fake; maybe she was never happy at all Maybe she had just grabbed any person that would come along And turn on them, and not care back in case she got hurt again But turning on them did nothing, and it did cause her pain Just ignoring everything going on in the shadows behind her He drifts in and out of her memories, and she cries Bad memories have over lapped the good and nothing is worth living for anymore The darkness falls around her and the moon reflects off of the water, her only form of reflection is a black outline sat on top of the water, her face cant be seen anymore, and it is best that way Living is too hard, but death is all too easy The moon falls and drifts behind a tree, blades of light shine through the branches like sunrays, just not as warming as they were in the summer. She hugs her knees into the top half of her body and looks into the black water, maybe she made a few mistakes, and said some inexcusable words, three mostly, three that maybe she never meant, not at the end of it all anyway. The owl in the tree retires to go to sleep, she wants to too but her soul is always awake, she can never rest, not without him by her side because it was always best that way, he was the only thing she had to run to, the only thing that cared. She lets go of her knees and lies back onto the grass at the edge of the lake, she stares at the stars, thinking of the times when she and him used to lay and do the same things, painting pictures with them and laughing together, happy. The memories are overpowering and she dreams that she is there now, and he is too, holding her, making it all ok, although she knows when she opens her eyes and looks to her right, he wont be there, it would all just be a dream. Sleep isn’t the same, sleeping isn’t sleep, because her mind isn’t at rest, it works, ticking over and over what happened, what went wrong, who’s fault it was, why… Creeping into every little corner of her mind, checking every second of each of her memories, crying, wishing, and hoping to find something, never successful. Nobody knew how he made her feel, complete, whole again Be it for five minutes or five hours, he loved her, and she loved him, eternally. The wind pulls the pain away and throws it back again, like a ball on the playground. Warmth spreads over her, and she feels lips touch hers, warm and soft, him, not his. Her boyfriend is there, and for the first time ever, she realises that he loves her, cares for her, adores her, eternally. Just as he said he did. But this time, its true, and she realises that maybe, just maybe she was obsessed with him, the first one. But not the last. © copyright, RYDER CB X