By egyptian_girl •
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There is one such thing as taking rhymes too far... I would rather ditch the rhymes, seeing that they diminish the poetic value of the poem and I would most definetly try to get some rythm into it...
i thynk rhyming makes it better..but i lyke it
erm...it kinda sounds like a little high school girl poem...or like a dr. suess book...ham...sam...I am...get it?
ummmmm. How can I put it? Your very new 2 this aren't you. You need to get a little darker. its to simple, you need a little more practice, like Jaleesa says. This is constuctive critisisim, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. luv sasha xxx
Hi there I read this and get a visual of your poem making a good rap song! could that be feasable for you? I think poetry is alot of the soul within. yes I know therte is proper methods of writing poetry form and such but always never forget the soul within . ok? good job! blessings glostarg
Totally agree with Sylvian..rhyming is not a necessity and sometimes it ruins the poem..I don't think the poem shows any depression..and probablt because it rhymes for the sake of rhyming only..
Totally agree with Sylvian..rhyming is not a necessity and sometimes it ruins the poem..I don't think the poem shows any depression..and probablu because it rhymes for the sake of rhyming only..