Letting Go While Holding On

As I walked away, I heard him cry. I felt the pain as I breathed and sighed. I wanted to hug him as I pushed him away, Hoping he would leave, but I wanted him to stay. He did not understand and neither did I. I needed him to be there, I shouldn't have said goodbye. I see him when he is near, I miss him when he is far. I think about him during the day and underneath the stars. People say harsh comments that I try not to believe, But I feel the doubt is behind me when I see the actions that I see. The words you can say make me melt like ice cream on a hot summer day. It is hard to walk away from the feelings that I felt for you. I know this is hard, and I don't mean to be mean, I promise you are not alone...the pain is with me. I don't mean to be selfish, I just don't know why I needed you as a friend, not just another lover. Please do not be upset with me, I will grow up someday soon. Maybe on that bright day it will be you and I. LaLa Curse