killed by a kiss, by etherdemon

running in circles chasing my tail sinners and saints all around me echos of angels and the screams of demons dawns and dusks ressurections in dust no peace without peace the loss of trust faith cracked but not breaking wonder at who is doing the forsaking soul aching needing release please claim me reaching for stars and tripping on diamonds fallen into silken chambers and velvet prisons heart full of water for all tears I can't cry smiles pouring out of my eyes the next stage the next act th next play another scene so vulgar and alone so dirty and mean so desperate and broken so boxed and drawn oh so empty now and still moving on left behind to unwind or unravel reveal what i feel and fall victim to the gavel urge to travel bury myself under a cloak of dust but it will not undo what cannot be undone inside a tomb of my own making straining to see sunlight through doors i cannot open and cannot close who knows maybe i already chose is death really the enemy when there is so much unlife around me what is it that i cannot see can not do do not understand what is the plan i'm just a man a bridge is built but not complete i walk as far as i can and wait for two sides to meet cannot retreat but cannot go on beholding moonless night seeking the dawn a fawn, newborn and fleet trying not to make a leap must be unbound and invited rectited the word of god before myself spoke my soul unto heaven awaiting questions to answers and answers to fears too many years but not enough time to find what it is that i need while i am emptied out and bleed away the last drops that i hold dear when you are near i am without fear so clear and yet so clouded shrouded in mystery wrapped in epiphany begging to be present and present the present as intended lonely but not alone as once i pretended offended by what i have done to myself and those for whom i care as i stare into the mirror i look back and see another 16 year old self the reflection of me who i want to be though back i cannot go and ahead there does not seem to be when i look in the mirror there are so many i see not just me but all of you a crowd or two a telling of a retelling spelling out something i can't seem to read but what i need i cannot for sure say though i want it so badly i hide from the light of day not ok in any way to live just like this unsure of the cure but it's always a kiss ....why does it always have to be a kiss??? the fusion of confusion the melody of insanity pouring through me until i'm poured out filled with doubt and then made empty again scraped but not scrapped as i'm burned and burnished slowly remade anew back to a self that was myself i'm so sorry i lost you