*Diamond in the dirt* (3)

The good die young; I’m trying not to be eligible for that. The bad outlive everyone; I’m trying not to be eligible for that. All I want Is a stress free life To be able to relax And one day have a wife I was ready for the world, Well I thought I was, I just didn’t know These streets were so dangerous Looks like this life Will soon shed us And it doesn’t seem My dream of a stress free life matters I’ve had to hurry up And become a man And if I were to kill I wonder if God would understand Tonight when you talk to God Tell him You can only run, blend in, kill Or be a victim Tell him I hear death calling me Tell him To prepare any day for me I ask for a chair marked JUNIOR WALKER like i'm a director Tell those who want me dead When they come for me they’ll find a struggler I can’t go on Not knowing If my survival is The beginning or end of my suffering I don’t want to turn cold But I could die if I look happy I can’t dress, talk, walk Even breath happy Hold the air in Better try and make your chest look big Rules like this Have become basic I come home And read Psalms 23 I know the valley of death stuff is real But are you there with me I have to carry a knife Cause I’m not scary enough without it Does that guy given me dodgy looks have one No doubt about it I read crazy stories in the paper And think “dat kud ave been you” From above I see my body on the concrete. You see it on the news, but it ain’t new, Just the tribulations of a ghetto kid Trying to stay strong Just the meditations of a soul Trying not to do wrong. God are you there? Are you listening? Help me please I’m begging Look, I’m on my knees. I pray For a better day Maybe even a peaceful night, I just want to be eligible for that alright. Amen.