First Times

for the first times only happen once.. nakedness you’ve uncovered left me bare but not exposed you would have never known the passion the truth non-existant beauty... under the masks you found me stark and white blistering cold.. you porimsed warmth compassion, the world, everything... gold. you heard what i had to say when my lips were not moving. you saw the truth when there was nothing proving. you said you understood and things were meant to be i felt this sudden urge to just be me. you admired my quirks and embraced the oddities i lived you gave me new dreams new hopes, new understanding of the girl i should be. you loved me, or so you claimed and i thought you had made me free but the truth was i was still chained to one other person lost withing the recesses of me. the sincerity i never trusted and the truth never told. i thought that you mean i could never be sold. and yet you ditched me now for the better model. and i wish for some reason i never let this happen that i never felt a flicker of anything for you. i wish beyond all i can that this had never happened. first times only happen once and i can't help but feel i've been had. and i trusted you i fucking trusted you. first times sold for a tiny thing humans call, happiness. xoxo Ellie J