Waiting Forever, by Ellie J [Idol Lies]

We used to be so in love So infatuated with each other No one else was part of our world That was then Things have changed This is now We yell and scream I'm not even sure what about I see black and white I do not understand these shades of grey you pull me through Our little annoying habits I thought that we loved each other I believed you loved me I can't understand and i don't want to frankly I can no longer get mad Not now I realize Every part of you makes up you even the stuff i felt destest for previously i miss now And you are who I love anmd nobody else. but i stand here hugging myself. your teddy lays on my pillow during the day in the night i throw that fucking bear across teh room and cry with all that i might. do you not understand the simplicity of what i want? i want you and you are gone. i did this i asked for this i followed James' sweet siren song and i lost you when i turned back i wish i had never ever lost track. we were going to marry and we were to have babies and it was s'posed to be happy i fuckiung trusted this fleeting notion of your devotion. where are you now? where the fucka re you now? you left me stranded disbanded. and here i wait red blood on the snow i'll lay here forever i doubt how long i'l lwait you really know. you were all that i ever wanted. you were all that i ever was. i'll hold my breathe forever if its all that it will take please don't hate me i made a mistake. xoxo ELlie J