i always said
you're here for me
you were always there for me
but now i wait
and i wait forever
but you're not coming.
you're never there
when i need you most.

you were never fucking there for me
why is it i am so fucking blind
that I just cant see.
you don't love me
not the way I want you to,
no do i trust that
every fleeting emotion is true.

we're so not meant to be
but when i close my eyes
it's you who whispers sweetly to me
it's you i fucking see when
ever i look about.
it's you who caused this pain
it's your fault that i shout.

all the blood and all the tears
i wish i had saved it up
these past three years.
i'd push you in it
and make you breathe
fuck you, can you not believe?

look at what you've done
look. just fucking see.
do you see what a tattered mess i am?
look at what you fucking did to me.

i don't need you
not like i say i do
i'm lying, you're shit.
i gather that we're really through.
fuck you. just fucking go.
if you don't want me
then why the fuck dont you just
say so

you told me that you loved me
and that you missed me too
i shyed away and was wary
and then i gave myself to you.
you had to go right then
and today you're fucking late.
i called you, six, seven times.. no eight.

can't you fucking have the balls
to be stright and upfront.
instead of leaving us waiting.
ugh you're such a fucking cunt.

xoxo
Ellie J