It's clear to me now. The mistakes I have made were my
decsions. They say there is no wrong decsion. Well I must
dissagree. Because look at me I messed up and lost out in
the cold. Damn what have I done. I look at it and see that
it just isn't me. In out of body experience why do I not
controle myself. When I am there this feeling only last a
minute than it is gone and I am through. I push the door
open and step into the shower to wash off and clean. I
realize that this is not the Man I am supose to be.
Confussion over comes me. The million dollar question would
why did you do it? But will it ever be answered? One day I
will realize that is just a phase in my life but until that
day this burden will be on my back. I carry these suitcases
of guilt and there is so many here so I hope there is room
for all these but if not then well leave me behind. Because
this is me take me for me. I am still recovering