i've been tempted my whole life
i've just never lost it
self-control, i suppose you could call it
that, and guilt from the could-be
there's something different
in the air today
hanging on the thread
with nothing to lose
nothing to wait for
nothing to die for
my stomach turns at the thought
at least i have something to live for
something to smile for
something to cry for
all i'm worried about
is the deciding factor
the time i have left
the time which is now
and this feeling in my gut
something i can't push away
unignorable, yet indifferent
something careful and distinguished
in the end, it's all the same to me
i've just never thought about it before
not until now