You Who I Loved

You who I love, I loved with an undying power... or so I thought. You loved me back; you knew my name before I knew you. Your love for me was always there, even when I was too scared to see it. What color were your eyes? You could see past all those shields I had, but never told anyone what laid behind them... not even me. What was the color of your hair? I search for your picture and once I find it, I cannot believe that man standing next to my father is you. I have betrayed you more than you know. I have forgotten the touch of your hand. The sound of your voice is lost to me... to all of this world. The laughter that you filled the room with is gone. When we speak of you the laughter is faded now, like when we speak of a book or a movie. I wish to read this story you over again, but in my careless youth I misplaced it, and took it for granted. I stare at this picture they claim is you, waiting for the answer I seek. Do you forgive me for forgetting? I beg you for an answer, but you stare back at me with that smile. I wish to ask you why you're smiling. What happiness is there? I cannot remember when you left, and how it felt to have you standing next to me. All those things that I promised you I keep in my heart forever...; I placed them in a box to keep them safe, but now I have lost the key, and more quickly you image slips away from me. How tall were you? What did you think right before you left? Was it "how will they get by without me", or,” how can I go on without them" where you afraid, or did you say, "God, here I come"? Was I in your thoughts? I miss you now so much but I'm not sure what I miss about you, I don’t remember anything about you. All I have is a picture that holds no truth.