Not Good Enough

There is only silence, you don't speak through the torrents of noise in my veins. And you don't breathe into my empty lungs. You don't press my faltering heart. And you don't know how. I stumble and choke over the things not said, the material not present. There is no slip of paper that says 'yes, you are brilliant'. There is no typed voice that says 'congratulations'. Just a loud speaker in my head that screams you're. not. good. enough. I can't swtich it off. It just sits there like a cannon in the centre of my brain. BOOM. Inadequate. BOOM. Failure. I tremble from the shockwaves. I am weak. I struggle my way around the debris searching desperately for a reason, something littered in the trash can. But there's just one scorched scrap that says 'what about them?' But would they care? Would I destroy them? Or the memories simply fade as the black roses wilt. You deserve more. They deserve better. I want escape. Because they took all I had left: words. And they spat. them. out.