Pursuing Ones Inspiration

Going around life’s curb, As my feelings once kept balance are now not centered and these emotions I suppose should be called disturbed, Lost in thought in some sort of meditation I always seem to be, I need to grasp a hold of some sort of concentration so I can focus on life and see, That these pessimistic thoughts that continuously enter my mind, Are not worth wasting my time, And yet I cannot help it for they drown all of my other thoughts, I try to push them out, but it does not work even though I’ve fought and fought and fought, I’m sick of being unable to let the optimistic thoughts flow and flutter through my head, But instead more negative thoughts soar through, such as thoughts of me being dead, It is unfair not being able to control ones own mind, Maybe my mind has been some what manipulated after all of this time, I just can’t seem to think of the happier moments of my past, I wonder how long these feelings of depression and sadness will last, Because I cannot take this too much more, Bad thoughts keep coming over and over again in hordes, But I don’t know what to do, I need something, maybe even just a molecular clue, But then I found you, Walking on the sidewalk as I sit on this bench in wonder, I feel it now I am the lightning and you are my thunder, My one to be, my soul mate of a sort, But then again I have to get to know you of course, All of the suddenly noticing these bad thoughts have left my presence, I must have you for it is my hearts lust and I can feel the essence, Of love for you and that you are my future inspiration and what shall make me happy, Let’s pursue this happiness, and hope it doesn’t end up badly!