What You Really Wanted

You really wanted this to happen, You wanted me hurt, Well I’ll tell you it worked, For I am also disturbed And I notice this new and unwanted feeling rise, One to feel and want the sensation, to die, I look up against the rain, What has been brought on me, is internal pain, I suppose now I am to bring the pain externally, For some reason I want it very badly And as I cry and plea The knife slides sharply across my wrist as the rain falls, My eyes drip with tears not rain, and I begin to ball, Crying out in pain and misery, Desiring your love and caring, It is so hard bearing, Living life without you, I feel so confused….. I wake in an ambulance, that is carrying me away, I barely look open, in such a sorrowful way, As I notice you at my side, I sit there and wonder why, You came here when, You were the one, that really wanted me to die.